W elcome my fellow patriots to Dear Tammy. This ain’t like your mamma’s Dear Abby. I’m gonna give you the real thing. The good advice your mamma’s too afraid to tell ya. I wanna hear your problems and I’m gonna give give ya a solushon. And it ain’t gonna be no mamsy pamsy solushon either. It’s gonna be yer good ole kick in the teeth kinda problem solvin’. If ya can’t handle the fire, then don’t write in!
Let me congratulate you on beein the first letter I have ever receeved that didn’t come from the government askin me to give them more money. And let me tell you somethin’. Cereal ain’t got nothin’ to do with Obamacare! Use yer head! It’s the damn cereal unions askin for more money to feed their lazy factory workers. How hard is it to cram some cereal into a damn box? Is it my problem that you don’t make enough to feed your kids? No! Are you breathin? Then yer livin and your makin a livin wage. Enough said.